Simultaneous interpreters should definitely get hazard pay for working in a confined space. After all, in the booth we are exposed to our boothmate’s cold and also to some very different personalities, up close and personal. Throughout almost ten years of interpreting professionally, I’ve had the chance to observe my colleagues’ funny and not-so-funny traits. Below, you’ll find a list of some characters I’ve had the pleasure or misfortune of working with:
The Power Nappers – Have trouble sleeping? Then you’d envy these guys. They will fall asleep sitting up, while hearing their colleague interpreting. Some of them consciously decide to take a nap; others, I suspect, may suffer from narcolepsy. Whatever the case, one concern is that sometimes they snore. It’s not my favorite soundtrack, but I don’t care much. I just hope the listeners don’t mind either. After all, it’s just a little harmless snoring, isn’t it?
The Minimalists – They believe that less is more. So they might show up without a computer, with no pen, no glossary, and no idea of what the assignment is about.
The Mic Hogs – These interpreters just don’t let go of the mic! When we’re tired, we might think “take it, it’s all yours,” but when the Mic Hog is a lousy interpreter or sounds like squealing brakes on a bike, ugh! Just give it to me, will ya?
The Holograms – You think they’re there, but they really aren’t. When it’s their turn, they do their job and they almost seem real. It’s amazing! However, when it’s their colleague’s turn, even when they remain in the booth, they are actually in Shrek land: Far Far Away. They use high-tech devices like books, Facebook, translations and newspapers to transport their minds elsewhere.
The Megaphones – Okay, maybe it’s not their fault, maybe they’re just physically built to have a super loud voice. I just wish they came with volume control.
The Maestros – They move their hands around so much when interpreting that sometimes the speakers think they’re actually hand-signaling them. There’s an upside to this, though: the speakers tend to think the interpreter is signaling about their speed and so try to speak more slowly. It doesn’t last a full minute, but it’s cute to see them try.
The White Rabbits – “I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date. No time to say ‘Hello, Goodbye’. I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.” Ring a bell? And you thought Alice in Wonderland’s rabbit was just a fictitious character, huh? No siree! An interpreter must have inspired Lewis Carroll when he created this one. Don’t believe me? Well, just think about it for a moment: have you ever met an interpreter who’s always either late or cutting it too close?
The Pretenders – They have everything an excellent interpreter needs, except actual good delivery in the booth. Most Pretenders are very engaged in the profession, dress appropriately, excel at self-marketing and walk around as if they’re the bomb. When it comes to their delivery in the booth, though: fail!
The Peacocks – These interpreters are so full of themselves that when they enter a room with their sense of superiority, it looks like they’re waiting for applause. Most of them aren’t friendly to anyone they believe is below them in the food pyramid. They will mercilessly devour technicians, receptionists and beginner interpreters who dare to not bow to them. Peacock-interpreters usually have a patronizing tone. They are natural teachers, but hardly ever have talent for learning from other people. Best way to deal with them: allow them to have the spotlight. You’re better off being low-profile and not getting into an ego fight.
The Mumblers – Say what? Can you repeat that? These interpreters are usually unmasked when you need their relay. You may feel the urge to give them some back blows to clear their airways. However, please control yourself and don’t do it! Research on the matter has proven that the Mumblers don’t have anything stuck in their throats. They actually mumble because they have no clue what the speaker is saying, but they can’t just mute completely.
The Hybrids – These quasi-mythological creatures mix two or more of the types above. You may encounter a White Rabbit who’s also a Minimalist or maybe a Megaphone who’s also a Mic Hog. To this day, the most dangerous combination I’ve encountered was the Maestro-Power Napper. While he napped, his hands kept on going and I had to dodge his strikes. I think he was having a pretty violent nightmare that day.
The Clueless, aka the WTFs – “What’s the conference about again?” “But I thought it started at 10!” Nothing about them feels right. They don’t prepare for assignments, they arrive at the last minute with the event about to start, they dress as if they were going to meet their friends at a bar. For a full description of this one, read My Boothmate: The Heartbreak.
The Frank Sinatra/Audrey Hepburn – These interpreters are a dream come true: sophisticated, polite and nearly flawless as boothmates. They have soft, yet confident voices. They dress appropriately. They always arrive early to assignments. They are team players. They are just perfect! For a full description of this type of interpreter, read My Boothmate: A Love Story.
I’ve been striving for the Audrey Hepburn, but I’m sure I’ve made some of the mistakes above at some point. And it’s okay, because nobody’s perfect. However, we should seek continuous improvement. For that to be possible, we need to raise our awareness of our flaws. How about you? Do you fit any of the descriptions above? Are there other types of interpreters I’ve left out? Share your thoughts in the comments area below.
